- Fringe 5.13 “Enemy of Fate”
He deserved to know the truth about who he is
In these days of fear I often think about the events of two years ago.
At that time I decided to lie. I knew the truth about Peter, inside me I knew it was right to say it him.
He deserved to know who he really was, but I decided to keep silent.
I didn’t want to lose him. I knew that if he discovered the truth, he would have run away and so it just happened.
I had spent many days thinking about what I knew about Peter and our relationship: in two years we became really good friends; He had seen more than my image of tough woman and I had seen more than his image as a cynical man .
We talked about many things, our difficult childhood, our vision of the world, the relationship with our parents in a silent pact of sincerity.
Pact of sincerity that I, for the first, had betrayed because I didn’t want him to go to find his true family, I wanted him to stay next to me and I want it yet. He is the person who understands me most in the world.
When he went away I fully understood what I felt for him and see that he didn’t answer my calls was killing me slowly. I had lost my best friend, I lost the man I loved and it was my fault.
I had to fix it. I had to let him know how I felt. I thought back to what he had said to me: “I don’t want to do anything which endangers the strange family that we are building together with Walter”
When I decided to lie I thought the same thing. I was convinced that only by lying to our strange family would stay together, but I was lying to both him and myself.
It took several days to be able to find him in the another universe and when I saw him, I found the words to convince him to return home. Peter didn’t accuse me of anything, even if a part of him for some time he hadn’t trusted me. In the following weeks I and my double came exchanged and there was no way for me and Peter to talk about the lies I had told him. There were many misunderstandings between us, and I was always the accuser and yet it was me who lied about something so serious. And I realize, a clear mind, that I’d do it even now that I’m in danger of losing him again. I’d be lying again rather than lose him.
I hate the lies.
But I hate more the world without him.
About The Bridge.
In these last months I’m often thinking about the birth of bridge created by my Peter, especially about the first days after that creation.
Mr Secretary asked to his son to come over there for a ceremony.
At the beginning Peter was afraid that event could be a pure propaganda for his true father, but then he was convinced.
Walternate took Peter and me in a Amber Zone, that was released from quarantine.
That view touched very much Peter and I and when our Walter took white tulip’s seeds we were speechless.
My love took my hand and together we planted those seeds in a land that was once dead.
Elizabeth was also touched and so every other people were there.
It’s was a perfect day and it seems so long ago.
My sweet @peterkbishop wrote these beautiful words
Sometimes I stop thinking about what I experienced, what I’m still living. I wonder I’m so lucky. Lucky to be with this gorgeous woman, with blond hair and those green eyes so bright, so… perfect. And her smile is the most beautiful I’ve seen in my life. It wasn’t always easy to be with her, we had our ups and downs, we risked losing each other yet we are still together. There’s some times I use to stop in the laborator, choosing a hidden corner just to see Astrid and Walter interact. Walter has changed a lot since it came out from the Saint Claire. Our relationship has improved a lot and he has changed, it has become a better man, even though he would never admit it. There are times when it makes me go crazy but I think what I would not trade them for all the gold in the world. I’m a father now. Henry is my joy and my pride. The circumstances of his birth were not … but it is my son. And when I see those eyes and hear his voice sweet and cheerful, he melt my heart. I know they are willing to do anything for him. This makes me a better understanding of the reasons for both of my fathers. It makes me better understand their pain, their desperation. Probably in their place I wouldn’t have acted differently. I’m still toying with the dream to have a son, or daughter, from my Olivia. It would be my greatest joy. Just like I created the bridge I didn’t choose who really is my father. I have two fathers and one mother. They love me a lot and I love them back. Sometimes Secretary Bishop try to make me someone I’m not but he learn to respect me, my choices and… everything involves me. This is a huge step.
I was lucky enough to make amends to some of the mistakes I made in the past. Sometimes I make other mistakes. I’m just human, not a saint, but I can say I became a better man. Maybe. I’m still trying to do what’s right. I can’t say if I succeded in or not. I keep trying…
And you are my home sweetie:”And I could see myself in her. I didn’t like who I was. Now, all of these… memories and feelings that I’m experiencing, they’re from a — a better version of me. I’ve decided to let things run their course.”
oliviablondedunham: You’re my home now and ever.
I am emotional. I do bring it into my work. It’s what motivates me. It’s what helps me get into the headspace of our victims, see what they’ve seen, even if I don’t want to, even if it horrifies me. And I think it makes me a better agent.
- Olivia Dunham
I have always been curious about the world and about tech stuff. So, clearly you can find me, sometimes, riding the net like a real cowboy, if you know what I mean. Surprisingly, I found many picture with “reason why Peter Bishop is perfect”. And I litterally laughed out loud. There’s a song by Coldplay called Fix you and I think it describes me in some way. My fist thought when I came back to Boston was that I’m imprisoned myself in a situation that I don’t even want to face nor consider. I have to deal with Walter, which was clearly not my favourite at that time. I felt like a giant wild cat stuck in a room with people who treat me like a kitten. To put it simply I wanted nothing but run away. I was bitter, I was a major pain in the ass, I was… I don’t know how to manage to overhelming rage I felt. I was pissed off with Walter, with Olivia and… damn it I was really pissed off with everone who came across my road. I just don’t to be there, dealing with a foolish father that was a failure, that I though was the cause of all problems I had in life. But slowly I began to see things from a different point of view. I began to try to be a better man, to do the right things even when it means to face Walter’s obscure past and his secrets. Which means also secrets about my real birth and my real family. For once in my life I wanted to listen the reasonable voice instead of raged one. Sometimes I had what I want but not what I needed most. Sometimes I am so tired working on a case with Olivia and yet I can’t sleep ‘cos I know somewhere there’s someone dying just because we aren’t acting quickly. I wasn’t a saint in the past but I’ve never been a cold blood killer. And I guess somehow I was too scared to care about people, about someone. I was afraid that… this would make me vulnerable. And I wasn’t ready to admit I was fragile, that I still am although I look like a confident person. I learned from my mistakes, I did what I thought was right to do - which does not mean I was always right - I started to believe that there was something more important than myself, and I began to fight for this. I’m human. If you really want to find a reason why Peter Bishop is perfect, it is this: I have always been a human being. For better and for worse. Fragile and yet so strong, maybe.
My sweet peterkbishop you are my soulmate
oliviablondedunham: You my precious perfect girl…
oliviablondedunham I love your smile. It’s so timid and yet so shiny…
Yes, my love peterkbishop, I’m so shiny, but when I see you, I have very very dirty thoughts
I don’t think that you were a coward. I think you were sad and were in trouble for your family like me.
But I cannot forget something.
I wanted to have you by my side and not against me because of the people hurt me.
I have my mother by my side and I don’t know your pain for her dead, but I understand your pain because I lost some people that I love, especially my grandfather that I loved like father.
I love you also I cannot to trust to anybody in the end.
Many of you hate scammers ‘cos you think they deceive people, they are nothing but manipulators. And, honestly, I had to admit that you have a point. I can’t speak on behalf of all con men but I can talk about me. Why someone like me became… what I became in the past? Simply: I was a coward. I’m trying to escape from myself, from my past. I think that all started when the woman who grew me up died. It was…like someone gave me an elettroshock, like I never knew who I was and I don’t care. I always had the rare gift to get me into troubles but after my mother’s death it became some sort of second nature. That day I learn that everything dies, nothing would last forever. I became a cynical son of a bitch. I didn’t care about anything at all, no mercy, no regret. Nothing at all. There was only silence. And sometimes this kind of silence shows up to remind me who I was and what I risked to become. An hollow man, someone who could die alone like a dog in some stinking alley, beaten by some mafia boss that I would definitely procured some trouble or who simply wouldn’t like my illegal business under his nose. That meeting in Iraq was a sign. The last wake up call to save my life…